Rare to fill these with a sort of serious post about moi. But today I had the absolute privilege of auditioning at the Birmingham REP for the BBC's Norman Beaton Fellowship. It's basically, them looking for an actor who hasn't been to drama school but works in the profession, and for that person to gain a five month working contract at the BBC.
I never feel good after an audition, there's always room for improvement (sometimes a hell of a lot) and today was no different. It went 'okay'. It keeps me grounded.
Today though, there was an actor who said to me 'we're gonna smash this'. If you can't figure it out, it means be amazing. And I was so jealous at first, how could anyone have such confidence going to an audition where you don't know people and openly guarantee that you're going to impress?
I thought about it for a while, whilst being riddled with nerves and self doubt and then concluded..
I'm much happier being this way. I can calm and use my nerves in the audition pieces I choose, they're not so much a burden, they help me focus. If I said 'I'm going to be amazing' I'd by lying to myself. Putting up a shield of dishonesty. To be believed, you have to find the truth in the text. That's honesty, and that's my job as an actor.
